What if drivers were hired like software developers?
Job title: car driver
Job requirements: professional skills in driving normal- and heavy-freight cars, buses and trucks, trolley buses, trams, subways, tractors, shovel diggers, contemporary light and heavy tanks currently in use by NATO countries.
Skills in rally and extreme driving are obligatory!
Formula-1 driving experience is a plus.
Knowledge and experience in repairing of piston and rotor/Wankel engines, automatic and manual transmissions, ignition systems, board computer, ABS, ABD, GPS and car-audio systems by world-known manufacturers - obligatory!
Experience with car-painting and tinsmith tasks is a plus.
The applicants must have certificates by BMW, General Motors and Bosch, but not older than two years.
Compensation: $15-$20/hour, depends on the interview result.
Education requirements: Bachelor's Degree of Engineering.
Saw this on a programmer's forum, but was unable to locate the original. Let me know, I'd be happy to link.
What If Drivers Were Hired Like Programmers? May 22, 2011
Like this post? Subscribe to my RSS, follow me on Twitter or check the about page
Labels:
funny,
tech talks
35 comments:
Nice ;)
oh my god, that's so true!
Just for this I looked up the first Programmer job near me and this is what I got:
Job title: Programmer
Job requirements: expert knowledge of HTML and PHP, great feeling for graphic design and web page layouts. Must have experience with manging and building web stores - show reference. Applicant must also have knowledge of C++ and Flash.
Sorry for the poor translation, but it sums up the whole thing I guess. Lol.
LMAOZZZ and what if Microsoft made cars!!
It's depressing how much truth their is to this.
i love the gps requirement :D
Required: 3-5 years experience driving the 2011 Honda Civic.
This, my friends, is why smart companies are hiring through places like stackoverflow careers. My last 2 jobs came through it, it works, do it. Applying for job ads like that is a waste of time.
If you want a good job:
* Build a nice code portfolio on github
* Get a great rep on stackoverflow
* Put your resume on stackoverflow careers
* Make a blog with lots of programming tips and snippets
Its easier than it sounds, and it pays off.
Chris, do u work for stackfow careers?
@chris It's true what you said, but it requires *LOADS* of time.
@Chris:
* Build a nice code portfolio on github
>> If jobless, it's possible. But I'll be sustaining on throw-aways and tap water for the until Iget a paycheck. If transitioning between jobs, I can't code on weekends. I have a family and/or friends. And I can't post proprietary source code publicly. My company owns my life the minute I signed that contract.
* Get a great rep on stackoverflow
>> Murphy's Law in action. If I know the answer, someone else has answered it. If the question has no answer, I probably don't know it. And it takes a butt load of time to build one.
* Put your resume on stackoverflow careers
>> If I'm looking for a job, my resume is probably everywhere.
* Make a blog with lots of programming tips and snippets
>> Possible but no one will read it since it's probably been done a million times already.
And in the end they would hire the guy who doesn't even have driving license.
The interview committee would be made up of people that can't tell the difference between a commuter train and a go-kart.
That's not the hiring process I've come to know and loathe in the last twenty years (looking for people to work on CloudFS BTW). In my experience, it would be more like "skip the license, tell me how you'd move Mt. Fuji using only a spoon" and then the hiring manager would just drag in their buddy over the interviewers' objections.
And the job turns out to actually be driving a golf cart.
...against a wall and then be asked why the car doesn't work anymore. Have you never driven a car against a wall before? Obviously right from the beginning you didn't understand what we actually need. Even my little nephew can tell you how it works, he likes to drive bobby cars, although only in Kindergarten. He told me your driving is shit. So start again, but this time without gas in the tank.
You cannot forget: "Being able to take direction from backseat a must."
Well, that's one long job requirement over there. Freelancing jobs are tough you know.
Excellent!
You missed an important one:
+ Must have 5+ years experience driving the 2009 model BMW M3
I recall seeing a job posting in 1997 requiring 5+ years Java programming experience.
well that's why programmers make more money than drivers
Amen brother Amen...
Hahaha, excellent post dude. And as sad as this may be, it holds very true for most IT jobs.
That is amazing : ) Very True
So depressingly true. And thanks for making me laugh out loud.
haha. great post. it made me think though.
If only it were that easy!
this one freaks me out
"job title:Junior Ruby on Rails Developer for Web, Mobile and Social Apps
• Excellent software design and problem solving approach – you’ll be responsible for building important parts of our product!!
• Strong Object Oriented fundamentals
• Strong Relational Database fundamentals
• Strong grounding in MVC patterns and AJAX
• Familiarity with BDD/TDD style of development (Cucumber/Capybara/Selenium/RSpec/TestUnit)
• Knowledge of building software using Continuous Integration and REST Architecture
Programming Skills
• Solid Experience with Ruby on Rails full web development technology stack
o Action Controller, Action View, Active Record etc.
o Knowledge of Popular ruby and rails gems and sites
o Ruby(1.9.x) and Rails (3.x.x) API
o Packaging and deployment of Rails App
• Experience with relational databases (MySQL)
• Proficient in jQuery/JavaScript
• Proficient in HTML and CSS
• Well-versed in source control management systems, such as Subversion or especially in Distributed Version Control like Git.
• Comfortable in working in *nix like environment (Ubuntu/Mac etc)
Additional Desired skills (not necessary):
Other skills you might have picked up along the way that would be nice are:
• Experience with iPhone and/or Android development would be a major plus;
• UX/UI design for web and/or mobile apps
"
IS THIS A POSITION FOR JUNIOR DEVELOPER!!! for gods sake
For systems analysts it goes roughly like this:
Has to be able to repair the car.
Has to know all the streets of our city.
- That's it -
Ability to drive? - not even mentioned.
Stop (softly) complaining and think that nobody sues you if you cause a few bugs. Compare that to a few accidents, so smile and enjoy your programming job, you lucky "bug producer"
Well I would also add:
Recent work experience in road repair and surface maintenance with a knowledge of traffic flows essential.
Hi, may I do a translation to spanish and put the source on my blog??
Jose, yep, of course, just keep a link to us ;)
Laughed, cried and laughed. Sad but true.
What do you expect?
Job Title: "Programmer"
Requirements: Some experience with Rails and GitHub. No other engineering background required!
Ability to type on a computer keyboard, use a mouse, read a computer screen desired.
Salary: $150-200k+
Continue dreaming.
Nobody masters engineering in a few weeks. I don't expect a junior engineer to be able to tell me a lot about time complexity, but it would be nice if the engineer actually knew what that meant. More and more people are learning to program. This doesn't mean they're equipped to be engineers.
Post a Comment